theumbrellaseller:

Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy Will,
And Will to boot, and Will in overplus;
More than enough am I that vex thee still,
To thy sweet will making addition thus.
Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious,
Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?
Shall will in others seem right gracious,
And in my will no fair acceptance shine?
The sea all water, yet receives rain still
And in abundance addeth to his store;
So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will
One will of mine, to make thy large Will more.
Let no unkind no fair beseechers kill;
Think all but one, and me in that one Will.

— Sonnet 135, William Shakespeare

Please note that as well as being the short form of his name, the word “will” (in typical Elizabethan style) was a slang term for both penis and vagina. If you listen carefully, you can hear Shakey sniggering to himself across the centuries.

Happy birthday, you smug douchebag.

(via mistymountainking)

Send me two things and I’ll tell you which one I prefer

(Source: itsababyshambles, via velociraptorwithaquillpen)

emperorhomosexual:

capitolhillofficial:

Dragons are henceforth a feminist icon. You’re no longer allowed to participate in the appreciation of dragons and dragons in culture unless you’re totally down for helping the equality movement. 

Anti-feminist blogs are mad about this post so everyone should reblog it.

(Source: foxyplaydate, via adventuresonpaper)

McGonagall: And, Potter… it’s good to see you.
Harry: It’s good to see you too, Professor.

(via what-lovely-books)

swanjolras:

HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)

BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!

so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:

  • in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
  • shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
  • lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
  • uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
  • ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
  • aliens.
  • ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS

(via shakespearean-spunk)

Hogwarts House Reading Challenge: Gryffindor
2. A Fantasy Book: Dune, by Frank Herbert.A much read and well loved fantasy book, Dune has been with me for a long time.

Hogwarts House Reading Challenge: Gryffindor

2. A Fantasy Book: Dune, by Frank Herbert.
A much read and well loved fantasy book, Dune has been with me for a long time.

Today is William Shakespeare’s 450th Birthday:

I think I’ll make a cake.

Well, ‘make’ is a strong word. I will buy a cake. And then I will eat it. And then I will quote Shakespeare while I do.

deanisanactualprincess:

freckledbuttchester:

I have such a weakness for characters who use snark and humor to cover up the fact that they feel like huge fuck ups but they’re actually heroes with hearts of gold and smart as all hell

(via mumfordslionheart)

Things I Have Learned Today:

rogueandpeasant:

Theseus was a giant asshole.

Not only did he grow up thinking he was perfect hero material (ego much?) but at the age of ~18 he went off to find his dad, who almost killed him but didn’t, and then became the heir to a great kingdom. Then, for shits and giggles I guess, he decided to take on the Minotaur, which he did, and only escaped the Labyrinth because Ariadne was super smart. So he says ‘yeah, I’ll marry you’ they sail off back for Athens at which point they take a pit stop on some island where he LEAVES HER ASLEEP AND SAILS AWAY WITHOUT HER. No joke. Then, once he gets back to Athens, he forgets to change the black sails for white and his dad thinks he’s dead and throws himself off the tower and then, hey, whatdoyaknow, Theseus is King of Athens.

Jerk.

Also, he defeats the Amazons and marries their queen, then decides to go off and kidnap Helen of Troy, who happens to be A CHILD, because he wants to marry her too. Then, because his buddy Pirithous helped him kidnap Helen they go off to steal him a wife as well and end up stuck in the underworld. Once Hercules comes along to save him Theseus ABANDONS PIRITHOUS ‘TO HIS FATE’. WTF.

Then there’s the whole Phaedra/Hyppolytus debacle which is just ridiculous.

I just can’t with you right now, Theseus.

What a douche.